So, that said, yes, it was a pretty tumultuous week, and not in a good way. I've emerged... battered, bruised and beaten, but not defeated. Some problems require a bigger bat and in this case, my bat was made from alcohol, geekery, Chinese food and my lovely wife (no, not like the leg-bone from my wife, or anything like that... OK, so it's not a perfect metaphor, so let's just move on).
It's Sunday, I've got a pot of Earl Grey and I've got some things to say.
I had a great time at WindyCon. Our party was a success and a lot of fun to boot. I had a great time walking around as the Janitor handing out our tickets. I made a ton of Whisky Old-Fashioned (each one by hand, muddling the orange, cherry, sugar cube and bitters) and by 11pm (the party started at 9) we were pretty much out of everything.
As a gauge, I purchased 80 cups. We didn't have any left (and I even refilled several). I had forgotten how much fun it was to tend bar and I had a blast.
I was able to attend a panel about Small Press and Self Publishing (which I tweeted about very actively during the panel). I had a great time with it, it was Moderated by an author friend Chris Gerrib ('Pirates of Mars'). One of the panelists was author Paul Erickson ('The Wobbit') and I got the opportunity to see him (in all his hobbit garb) pretty much all weekend long as his booth was diagonal from Eggplant's.
During the panel, I would say that he gave us one of the best pieces of advice I've heard. It's so simple it's often overlooked. It's so obvious it's easily missed and forgotten.
"Do what you love."
During the past week, I've read interviews, seen footage on youtube and even read the controversy between him and the National Lampoon's book (which is titled the same). If you get a chance, talk to him for five minutes... if you see him at a con, play some Moria Plinko and maybe win some candy or even a discount on his book.
Those four words can be applied to pretty much anything in life. Though it requires a bit more work. Finding out what you love is really important. Being honest with yourself about it is another.
Me, I work to live, I don't live to work and believe me... I love to live. So, when circumstances prevent me from doing the things that I refer to as "living" (enjoying time with my wife and family, socializing, gaming... just to name a few) then it bogs me down.
Fortunately, I don't stay bogged down for long and here I am, smiling, sipping my tea and writing to all nine of my readers (and perhaps even a future, older Benjamin who feels like slogging through the old archives of his dad's ramblings) telling them that yes, life beats you up. Yes, life is tough, but as long as you have a firm grasp of what it is you love, you won't be able to let it hold you down.
Fall down seven times...
...get up eight.
This week is also a big week: New release coming out ('Brass Stars' by A.G. Carpenter), Interview, Thanksgiving Prep, Victorian Lost on Saturday night (which I'm totally stoked for). That's just barring any other issues life tosses our way.
Oh yeah... and I have that $150 million jackpot to win... so you know... no pressure. :)
As always, thanks for reading and thanks for your support! Have a great week!
~Stephan
Sunday, November 17, 2013
Saturday, November 2, 2013
Yeah, well you know what I have that Lassie doesn't? THUMBS!
So, on that non-sequitur of a title, let's talk about traffic and the philosophical reminder I gave myself. Follow along! :)
So, I'm taking Ben (whose new statement is (pretty much in response to anything), "We wouldn't want that, would we?") out for the second time this morning to run errands and I encounter (again for the second time this morning) a person who doesn't know how to drive (or, at least, shouldn't be allowed to... in my (not so) humble opinion).
For the second time this morning, a short yet bellicose stream of profanity bursts forth from my lips. For the second time this morning, Ben stops what he's saying and doing and asks, "Are you OK, baby?". It's hard to stay mad when your 2-1/2 year old son asks you that in his "sweet" voice.
Anyroad, I started explaining why I was upset to him, I started on the path of the long diatribe about idiot drivers and stupid people when I realized that, if I continue down this path, it will teach my son nothing about being understanding of others and only instill a sense of negativity. Also, it will keep me in a negative place and not really help me stay positive. Instead, the dialogue went something like this (which is really just a recollection of my thinking out loud with commentary from a very smart 2-1/2 year old):
Me: Well, Ben, I am upset about these drivers not paying attention or following street laws or signs or really knowing what to do when there's a T-intersection with no stop signs.
Ben: Oh... yeah.? (what I put as his responses my also have been mistaken for burping or drooling noises...)
Me: (deep breath) So, Ben, in this situation, I have to ask myself what I can do about being upset to help me not be upset anymore. Right?
Ben: Right.
Me: So, I have two options in this case: One - I can teach the rest of the world proper driving technique, which includes but is not limited to four way stops and merging... or Two -
Ben: Three!
Me: No, Two - I can accept that I can't teach the world how to drive and I can't control how other people drive and so I should embrace this acceptance and let the upset pass... or better yet, not allow it to upset me at all and just accept it.
Ben: Three! (giggles)
Me: Way to think outside the parameters, kid. Seriously though, I need to be able to do this about more stuff... because life is just too short to be upset.
Ben: You happy Dada? (as in father, not the prelude to postmodernist art/theatre)
Me: ...(this gave me pause. How two simple words from a toddler can really hit you in the feels even though you know they have no sense of point of reference)
Ben: You happy Dada? (again, see above)
Me: Yes, Ben. I'm happy. The trick is how to stay happy. Let's just take this for a life lesson shall we? Let's just accept the things we can't change and in that acceptance, understand that our emotions are valid, feel them, and then let them go and remember the good things, the happy things. Can you do that?
Ben: Yup.
Me: Of course you can. I love you, Ben.
Ben: I love you too, Dada (again, see above). We goin' to Costco?
Me: Yup.
So, that's it. In the heat of the moment when you're pissed off because of someone else, accept that they're probably not going to change and in that acceptance, acknowledge your emotion, validate it, then release it and think of a two year old asking if you're happy (or some other thought that brings you joy).
That's it for now... as always, thanks for reading!
~Stephan
So, I'm taking Ben (whose new statement is (pretty much in response to anything), "We wouldn't want that, would we?") out for the second time this morning to run errands and I encounter (again for the second time this morning) a person who doesn't know how to drive (or, at least, shouldn't be allowed to... in my (not so) humble opinion).
For the second time this morning, a short yet bellicose stream of profanity bursts forth from my lips. For the second time this morning, Ben stops what he's saying and doing and asks, "Are you OK, baby?". It's hard to stay mad when your 2-1/2 year old son asks you that in his "sweet" voice.
Anyroad, I started explaining why I was upset to him, I started on the path of the long diatribe about idiot drivers and stupid people when I realized that, if I continue down this path, it will teach my son nothing about being understanding of others and only instill a sense of negativity. Also, it will keep me in a negative place and not really help me stay positive. Instead, the dialogue went something like this (which is really just a recollection of my thinking out loud with commentary from a very smart 2-1/2 year old):
Me: Well, Ben, I am upset about these drivers not paying attention or following street laws or signs or really knowing what to do when there's a T-intersection with no stop signs.
Ben: Oh... yeah.? (what I put as his responses my also have been mistaken for burping or drooling noises...)
Me: (deep breath) So, Ben, in this situation, I have to ask myself what I can do about being upset to help me not be upset anymore. Right?
Ben: Right.
Me: So, I have two options in this case: One - I can teach the rest of the world proper driving technique, which includes but is not limited to four way stops and merging... or Two -
Ben: Three!
Me: No, Two - I can accept that I can't teach the world how to drive and I can't control how other people drive and so I should embrace this acceptance and let the upset pass... or better yet, not allow it to upset me at all and just accept it.
Ben: Three! (giggles)
Me: Way to think outside the parameters, kid. Seriously though, I need to be able to do this about more stuff... because life is just too short to be upset.
Ben: You happy Dada? (as in father, not the prelude to postmodernist art/theatre)
Me: ...(this gave me pause. How two simple words from a toddler can really hit you in the feels even though you know they have no sense of point of reference)
Ben: You happy Dada? (again, see above)
Me: Yes, Ben. I'm happy. The trick is how to stay happy. Let's just take this for a life lesson shall we? Let's just accept the things we can't change and in that acceptance, understand that our emotions are valid, feel them, and then let them go and remember the good things, the happy things. Can you do that?
Ben: Yup.
Me: Of course you can. I love you, Ben.
Ben: I love you too, Dada (again, see above). We goin' to Costco?
Me: Yup.
So, that's it. In the heat of the moment when you're pissed off because of someone else, accept that they're probably not going to change and in that acceptance, acknowledge your emotion, validate it, then release it and think of a two year old asking if you're happy (or some other thought that brings you joy).
That's it for now... as always, thanks for reading!
~Stephan
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