Yeah, well you know what I have that Lassie doesn't? THUMBS!

So, on that non-sequitur of a title, let's talk about traffic and the philosophical reminder I gave myself.  Follow along! :)

So, I'm taking Ben (whose new statement is (pretty much in response to anything), "We wouldn't want that, would we?") out for the second time this morning to run errands and I encounter (again for the second time this morning) a person who doesn't know how to drive (or, at least, shouldn't be allowed to... in my (not so) humble opinion).

For the second time this morning, a short yet bellicose stream of profanity bursts forth from my lips. For the second time this morning, Ben stops what he's saying and doing and asks, "Are you OK, baby?". It's hard to stay mad when your 2-1/2 year old son asks you that in his "sweet" voice.

Anyroad, I started explaining why I was upset to him, I started on the path of the long diatribe about idiot drivers and stupid people when I realized that, if I continue down this path, it will teach my son nothing about being understanding of others and only instill a sense of negativity.  Also, it will keep me in a negative place and not really help me stay positive.  Instead, the dialogue went something like this (which is really just a recollection of my thinking out loud with commentary from a very smart 2-1/2 year old):

Me:  Well, Ben, I am upset about these drivers not paying attention or following street laws or signs or really knowing what to do when there's a T-intersection with no stop signs.

Ben:  Oh... yeah.? (what I put as his responses my also have been mistaken for burping or drooling noises...)

Me:  (deep breath) So, Ben, in this situation, I have to ask myself what I can do about being upset to help me not be upset anymore. Right?

Ben:  Right.

Me:  So, I have two options in this case: One - I can teach the rest of the world proper driving technique, which includes but is not limited to four way stops and merging... or Two -

Ben:  Three!

Me:  No, Two - I can accept that I can't teach the world how to drive and I can't control how other people drive and so I should embrace this acceptance and let the upset pass... or better yet, not allow it to upset me at all and just accept it.

Ben:  Three! (giggles)

Me:  Way to think outside the parameters, kid.  Seriously though, I need to be able to do this about more stuff... because life is just too short to be upset.

Ben: You happy Dada? (as in father, not the prelude to postmodernist art/theatre)

Me: ...(this gave me pause. How two simple words from a toddler can really hit you in the feels even though you know they have no sense of point of reference)

Ben: You happy Dada? (again, see above)

Me: Yes, Ben. I'm happy.  The trick is how to stay happy. Let's just take this for a life lesson shall we? Let's just accept the things we can't change and in that acceptance, understand that our emotions are valid, feel them, and then let them go and remember the good things, the happy things.  Can you do that?

Ben: Yup.

Me:  Of course you can.  I love you, Ben.

Ben:  I love you too, Dada (again, see above). We goin' to Costco?

Me:  Yup.

So, that's it. In the heat of the moment when you're pissed off because of someone else, accept that they're probably not going to change and in that acceptance, acknowledge your emotion, validate it, then release it and think of a two year old asking if you're happy (or some other thought that brings you joy).

That's it for now... as always, thanks for reading!

~Stephan