A More Thoughtful Post

Ok, so here it is.  A more thoughtful post.

In the last four weeks I wrote over 40,000 words, compared to the last two months, where I wrote 20,000.  I'm sure that everyone has read numerous articles on how to be a better writer and all that, so I will try not to bore you too much with repetitiveness.

I'm also not at all deceiving myself that my work is finished.  Like I said in previous posts, this is my first draft.  Anyroad, I do have to say that this is the first time I've done anything like this and to sit there on St. Patrick's day, bleary-eyed (and hung over) watching the words swim together as I typed those final words, a sense of accomplishment flooded through me.  I felt successful.  I felt like I'd done something worthwhile.  That feeling lasted about two hours (I was asleep after that).

When I woke, I found myself thinking about it, knowing that the ending needs more work.  Then my brain kicked into high gear and wanted to start editing right away (as exhausted as I was, only getting a few hours sleep).  I listened to the advice:  PUT IT AWAY.

So, while I feel accomplished (though not quite like the rush I felt on Saturday night) I also feel a bit lost:

I feel that I understand now what it takes to get into the process of writing and sitting down and doing it.  I also feel that I understand how it's different for everyone.  What worked for me is not focusing on the things that were keeping me from writing, not looking for excuses not to write, but to just get it done.  I had a weekly goal, which I broke up into daily goals (but if I missed one, it was OK since I knew I could make it up by the end of the week).  Making a daily goal felt good, but making the weekly goal felt AWESOME!

Now to the feeling lost part: How do you deal with not going in there and editing it right away?  I understand that it needs time to gel and that the mind's eye needs some time away from it so that it can refresh and be more perceptive.  I mean, I know I should (and will be) writing the next one (I've got two pretty strong ideas to roll with) but other than that, what works to get the mind from thinking about that project while you're working on the next one?  I'll have to do some looking into it.  I've made lots of new friends on Twitter, I'm sure there'll be something on there with some advice that will work.  :)

OK, one more time and then I'll stop riding this scooter:  I feel pretty good at finishing the rough draft of my first ever novel, over 60K words.

Well, that's it for now, I'm sure I'll be back on later in the week to talk more.

Have a great night everyone, thanks for reading and thanks for your support!

~Stephan

St. Patrick's Day Completion

First Draft COMPLETE!  60,225 words.

There is a lot I want to say right now, but I am exhausted.  Look for a more thoughtful post tomorrow.  Until then, I'm going to have a well deserved lie down.

Thanks for your support and thanks for reading!

~Stephan

Wednesday Night Headbutt

Total Word Count (approx.): 54K; Daily Word Count (approx.): 1K

Well, I can see what my Saturday night is going to be like:  Me, any alcohol still left in the house, and my laptop, hammering away to get those last few thousand words.

Didn't get much of anything done today as far as writing is concerned, but I do feel a bit more accomplished as a social networker.  I got connected to a lot of experts out there who both influence me and educate me and I'm pretty stoked about it.  Enough so that it's worth trading off some drinking time for writing.

Just came out of the Horror Book Club meeting as well and it was pretty awesome.  Read a great book (which spoiled me and set the bar for all horror stories I read from here on in) and discussed it at pretty good length.  I mentioned it before, Brian Keene's 'A Gathering of Crows'.

Anyroad, I have discovered a thing or two about pacing and looking forward to utilizing that knowledge in the revision of the story.  Also, I'll need a title which is something that I'll be working as well on Saturday night.

So, for all those that I said I'd get together Saturday night, sorry, no dice, gotta work.  Trust me, though, it'll be totally worth it.

Thanks for your support and thanks for reading!

~Stephan

MNWS IV - Rage against the Monday

Total Word Count (approx.): 53K; Daily Word Count (approx.): 3K 


So, today was a helluva Monday.  Through it, though, I got a good deal of writing done.  Closing in on the finish line and got to hang with a friend, both of us feverishly hovering over our laptops, brows furrowed in concentration.   We even got some writing done through all our posturing.  :)


Actually it was very productive and these sessions are very helpful for me.  Plus, the cookie helped.  Still, it's important to note in this journey that while it may seem that I've been very productive (because I have been) recently, it's been a more recent thing and this has been the end result of a less productive time.


Not to mention that writing in a good headspace is not as difficult than writing from a not so good headspace (which is where I have been today, pretty much all day).  It can be helpful for material to be reminded of your repressed anger (by its untimely escape) but it certainly isn't productive in the long run.  


Anyroad, I've jabbered long enough.  Thanks for reading and thanks for your support.  


~Stephan

Funny thing about motivation and momentum

Total Word Count (approx.): 50.1K; Daily Word Count (approx.): 2.3K (700+ on Thursday afternoon)


OK, so here's the thing.  I've done more in the past few weeks than I have ever before.  That's certainly not how things started.

I started out working on this whenever.  An hour here, a few hours there, but not on a daily basis.  What got me motivated was attending that panel at Capricon and seeing my peers giving advice.  It was at that point (and the beginning of this blog) that I started devoting nightly time to writing.  

I heard this quote once (or maybe I read it) and it stuck with me.  How we treat ourselves in failure describes who we are.  That said, I don't always get my stuff done when I want to.  Yesterday, for example, I wanted to have 2000 words but got only 700.  

The idea is that when you don't reach a goal, don't beat yourself up.  Try and stay positive and get motivated to continue on with your work.  

It is this idea, this concept that has pushed me forward to meet my weekly goals every week.  Here I am, one week away from achieving my goal of finishing my first draft.  

So, at the end of an exhausting week, after life has interjected itself in my writing goal, I sit here in somnolence and try to say something motivational that doesn't sound egotistical and I hope that I have achieved that. 

Keep your chin up, roll with what life throws your way, and don't let your setbacks take you out of play.  It's alright to be delayed, but don't let those things that delay you change your life for the worse.  You're better than that.  :)

Thanks for reading and thanks for your support!

~Stephan

When in doubt... drink!

Total Word Count (approx.): 47.1K; Daily Word Count (approx.): 4.1K

I preface this post by saying that this is the first time I've ever done anything like this.   After this afternoon, I didn't really feel like writing tonight.  I was pretty exhausted, I already wrote my two-thousand words (even though I skipped last night since I knew I'd have the option today) and I had just come home from having dinner with the in-laws.

So, instead of succumbing to the lethargy of it all, I found something that smashed away the torpor, with a vengeance.  It's called alcohol.  In fact I'm hard pressed at this very moment to find a problem that a pint glass (or two) full of Irish Creme and Buttershots (with some ice) couldn't help with.  

Not that I'm encouraging alcoholism, nor do I want to feed into the stereotype that all writers must drink before composition.  I am, however, saying that it really cut into the languid feeling and while it didn't energize me, exactly, it did what alcohol does best.  It got me to issue a challenge.  

Fortunately for me, the challenge was internal and was with the written word and not in a bar facing down a few belligerent (and also drunk) hooligans looking for a fight.  

Anyroad, I believe this is a milestone for me.  I'm only about thirteen-thousand words away from my end goal for my first draft and I've never written over four-thousand words of fiction in one day before.  Well, unless you count grad school, but I don't.  

Thanks for reading and as always, thanks for your support!

~Stephan

MNWS III - Control is an Illusion

Total Word Count (approx.): 43K; Daily Word Count (approx.): 2K

Control is an illusion.  Organization and dedication are the keys.

I woke today with a feeling like an undefined revelation.  I felt good, even for getting only a few hours sleep.  I didn't dwell on my lack of sleep, nor did I question this good feeling.  OK, that's a fib.  I did wonder where it came from, like perhaps I uncovered the "Secret" during the few hours I did get some sleep, or perhaps my dream self took an astral journey to Valhalla and brought back a pewter mug or something.  

Then, on my way here to my writing session, a phrase came to mind.  It just popped in there.  It's a phrase I've heard over and over from one of my favorite movies ("Revolver").  Control is an illusion.  

Life isn't meant to be a struggle, it's meant to be lived.  Unfortunately, we do struggle, most of the time it's what we focus on in our daily lives (and not judging, but this is focus is greatly enhanced and enabled through things like Facebook).  

What this revelation is, what has me in such a good spirit, is that I've given up the notion that I have any control over my life.  By embracing this thought, I've stopped focusing on struggling to control the things I can't, and accepted the things that come into my life, either good or bad.  

That is not to say that I believe this is a "roll over and take it" attitude, not at all.  I have certain beliefs of right and wrong and if those are crossed, there will be consequences for the transgressor.  What it IS to say is that I have rid myself of the fear that I will "lose" control.  Since control doesn't really exist, I can't "lose" it.  

That is also not to say that I believe we have no control over any aspect of our lives.  That's not true.  We have choices to make on a daily basis on how we act.  The difference is that I no longer carry the belief that I can control my "life" or anyone else's.  Sure, I can impact someone else's life, but I cannot "control" it.  How that impact is handled is out of my control.  Sure I might be able to predict the flow of events, but I cannot control it.  

I imagine that what is needed now is the definition of "life".  This is a grand undertaking that has been the focus of most self-help books for the past three decades.  What I am meaning by it in this context is that I cannot control my happiness or my sadness.  I cannot control my feelings or my thoughts.  I cannot control what happens to me or what happens to others.  The more I try, the more I focus on the struggle of trying to control those things rather than focusing on accepting that they are present, acknowledging that presence and their impact and then moving forward with my life. 

So, a lot of my life has been focusing on the struggle.  I've been aware of this issue for a long time and have a shelf full of self-help books to prove it.  This awareness has given me a semblance of power and a zen-like demeanor, but it has not been true understanding.  I feel that I have connected with a notion of true understanding and while I sit here and type and type, I ultimately find the more I attempt to define it further, the more words become diluted and weak.  

The main point, the point of this whole post and I could (and probably should) have just left it at this:  Control is an illusion.

It is my belief that in order to overcome those things that are holding us back, whatever they are, it comes down to organization and dedication.  Organize what it is you want into an achievable goal and then dedicate yourself to following the plan towards that goal.  Focus on the action towards the goal, not the action of struggling to achieve it (or what happens if you don't).  

So, once more:  Control is an illusion.  

Thanks for reading and thanks for your support!

~Stephan

Gnarly Head Writing!!!

Total Word Count (approx.): 41K; Daily Word Count (approx.): 2.5K   


Weekly word count (10,000 words) achieved!

So, this is going to be short and sweet.  I've accomplished my weekly goal, have a little over 41,000 words on paper and am two weeks away from finishing up.

I have to say this: One of my favorite things about writing is that I get to do it while drinking wine.  This Gnarly Head is a pretty awesome!

Have a great weekend everyone!  Thanks for reading and thanks for your support!

~Stephan 

Family Game Night!!!

Total Word Count (approx.): 38.5K; Daily Word Count (approx.): 2K

It's good to have something to take one's mind off the trials and tribulations of real life.  Tonight was Family Game Night and the Munchkin expressed a strong desire to play DnD again.  I realized it would be a lot of work (since I usually run it), and my wife did too, because she offered to run it.  

I had a blast and I can say that the Munchkin did as well.  Quote of the night (paraphrased due to fatigue and having just pushed out 2000 words in about forty-five minutes) in response to why she can't understand the squeaking of bats (something her character can't do normally), "They're not English bats then.  They must be French bats, of course."  Not bad for a 7-year-old.

Anyroad, enough about gaming, on to writing.  I'm pretty happy with where this is coming along.  This is the most I have ever written about one thing.  I have over 105 pages (courier 10pt double spaced) and I'm getting closer to the end.  After this week only twenty thousand more words and I'll have a first draft... lots of things to wrap up by then.  

So, all in all a good day, great night and now I can sign off, happy that I've accomplished my daily word count and only 2500 words to go for my weekly to be met.  Looking forward to getting past that tomorrow.  

Thanks for reading and thanks for your support!

~Stephan