Control is an illusion. Organization and dedication are the keys.
I woke today with a feeling like an undefined revelation. I felt good, even for getting only a few hours sleep. I didn't dwell on my lack of sleep, nor did I question this good feeling. OK, that's a fib. I did wonder where it came from, like perhaps I uncovered the "Secret" during the few hours I did get some sleep, or perhaps my dream self took an astral journey to Valhalla and brought back a pewter mug or something.
Then, on my way here to my writing session, a phrase came to mind. It just popped in there. It's a phrase I've heard over and over from one of my favorite movies ("Revolver"). Control is an illusion.
Life isn't meant to be a struggle, it's meant to be lived. Unfortunately, we do struggle, most of the time it's what we focus on in our daily lives (and not judging, but this is focus is greatly enhanced and enabled through things like Facebook).
What this revelation is, what has me in such a good spirit, is that I've given up the notion that I have any control over my life. By embracing this thought, I've stopped focusing on struggling to control the things I can't, and accepted the things that come into my life, either good or bad.
That is not to say that I believe this is a "roll over and take it" attitude, not at all. I have certain beliefs of right and wrong and if those are crossed, there will be consequences for the transgressor. What it IS to say is that I have rid myself of the fear that I will "lose" control. Since control doesn't really exist, I can't "lose" it.
That is also not to say that I believe we have no control over any aspect of our lives. That's not true. We have choices to make on a daily basis on how we act. The difference is that I no longer carry the belief that I can control my "life" or anyone else's. Sure, I can impact someone else's life, but I cannot "control" it. How that impact is handled is out of my control. Sure I might be able to predict the flow of events, but I cannot control it.
I imagine that what is needed now is the definition of "life". This is a grand undertaking that has been the focus of most self-help books for the past three decades. What I am meaning by it in this context is that I cannot control my happiness or my sadness. I cannot control my feelings or my thoughts. I cannot control what happens to me or what happens to others. The more I try, the more I focus on the struggle of trying to control those things rather than focusing on accepting that they are present, acknowledging that presence and their impact and then moving forward with my life.
So, a lot of my life has been focusing on the struggle. I've been aware of this issue for a long time and have a shelf full of self-help books to prove it. This awareness has given me a semblance of power and a zen-like demeanor, but it has not been true understanding. I feel that I have connected with a notion of true understanding and while I sit here and type and type, I ultimately find the more I attempt to define it further, the more words become diluted and weak.
The main point, the point of this whole post and I could (and probably should) have just left it at this: Control is an illusion.
It is my belief that in order to overcome those things that are holding us back, whatever they are, it comes down to organization and dedication. Organize what it is you want into an achievable goal and then dedicate yourself to following the plan towards that goal. Focus on the action towards the goal, not the action of struggling to achieve it (or what happens if you don't).
So, once more: Control is an illusion.
Thanks for reading and thanks for your support!
~Stephan
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