Change and Blame

“We are taught you must blame your father, your sisters, your brothers, the school, the teachers - but never blame yourself. It's never your fault. But it's always your fault, because if you wanted to change you're the one who has got to change.”

― Katharine Hepburn


I don't think this is entirely true. I do agree, however, our societal environment raises us to look for blame, for the most part.  When something happens, it's always somebody's fault.  Looking for blame eases our conscious and allows us to accept the negative, which I think is a bad habit to get into.  

I have this philosophy and most of you who are reading this have already heard it:

If you look hard enough for something, you'll find it. 

With the rage of TV therapists and such coming to a near end, we've already seen the results of a more confrontational approach to self-betterment. Again, even that statement sounds as if someone is at fault for implying we're somehow inadequate or inferior. 

Not that everything they say is invalid, but the concept of blame is one that I truly don't believe in.  

It's about what you're looking for.  

So, instead of looking for blame about your situation, look for forgiveness, starting with yourself.  Most of us are overly hard on ourselves as it is, so adding this to it is, I believe, utterly unnecessary.  I mean, I understand this quote was taken out of context and about empowerment, but we need to empower ourselves in a way that promotes positive emotions, love and acceptance. 

It's hard enough to change a habit, particularly one that's been drilled into you since forever, but every path to change starts with a single step.  The trick is to keep stepping. 

Be kind to yourself, love yourself, be true to yourself, forgive yourself and then look for ways to instill that in others (usually by showing by example). 

You are loved.  

Thanks for reading and thanks for your support.

~Stephan